Quality Leads To Opposition

The following is based on over twenty years of study and experience. Some small amount of logic and good sense is thrown in to glue it together. The purpose of the following is to encourage the reader toward ever higher quality.

The natural tendency of people is to do things well, and correctly. No one-year-old ever tried to do something less well than he could. It follows, then, that any tendency to give less than one's best effort is a learned behavior. It further follows that what has been learned can be unlearned.

From a very early age, a child learns that not all of his efforts are appreciated and admired, at least not as much as he thinks they should be. He draws a picture he is proud of, and it gets a ho-hum response. He makes a mess while trying to help, and gets yelled at. At school, it only gets worse, with mediocre grades despite good effort, and with derision as a "teacher's pet" for showing interest or doing well.

What results is the unnatural tendency to hold back, to not try so hard. Call it the "Why Bother?" syndrome. What also results is unknowingly teaching this behavior to others, and reinforcing it generally. Everyone does this sometimes, if only by not admiring others' efforts.

Some people recognize that their life needs to improve. Some people rebel, because they know they are not living up to their potential, and want more from life. They start trying to improve quality, both in their own life and all around them. They start trying to make things better. And they discover that the world does not make that easy.

Opposition can take many forms, from outright obstacles to the most subtle kind of all: lack of appreciation. When a person does something well, and it doesn't get noticed, the "Why Bother?" syndrome kicks in, full force.

Change is possible. Improvement is possible. Self-improvement is possible. They are not only possible, they are relatively easy. So long as the intention continues. They may not happen as fast as you would like -- what does? -- but continued motion in the direction of improvement always yields progress.

The next time you put forth that extra little effort to do a job better, and someone says, "Why Bother," you can smile sweetly and say, "Oh, it's no bother." You don't need admiration or appreciation to do things better. It's nice when it comes, and it will come, but you don't need it.

Besides, you should know that someone does admire your efforts to improve, and does appreciate the things you do well. In fact, every reader of this article does, as you admire theirs. They are not alone, nor are you, in these efforts. You may be fought, or scorned, or ignored, as you push through the lowlands of mediocrity to the higher levels of quality. But you are not alone, and you are needed

Self-Improvement: All About Quality

People run into two major problems when they try to apply self-improvement ideas or techniques:

1) They attempt too great a change in too short a time, and

2) They expect that by changing one aspect of their life, their whole life will improve.

Major changes are always an accumulation of minor changes. You don't change the direction of an ocean liner instantly, and a life has at least as much momentum as an ocean liner. Real self-improvement comes from small, directed changes, each one designed to improve one small aspect of life.

Self-improvement must involve all parts of one's life, because all those parts interact with each other. If they are not all getting better, improvement in one small area will not be stable, as the others will drag it back down. As an example, a student decides to study much harder and get better grades. This won't be possible if he has just as many distractions from friends, just as many money problems, and his girlfriend keeps getting mad at him.

The solution to both of these problems is to learn the actual principles of quality that underlie self-improvement. To improve anything is to increase its quality. This includes self. It includes life. Without knowing the principles of quality, attempts to improve it become "best guesses" or blindly following advice that worked for someone else or seems to make sense.

Here is the first major principle of quality: Quality Is An Attitude.

This simply means that you have decided to make things better. You have recognized that better is a good direction to move in, rather than letting things stay the same or get worse. Of course, deciding to do something and actually doing it are not the same things. That is where the rest of the principles come in. This first one, though, is necessary. You know you have a quality attitude when you see something that is not as good as it could be and you want to make it better. Maybe you can and maybe you can't, but you wish you could.

Here is the second major principle of quality: Quality Leads To Opposition.

What should be a relatively simple and essentially painless process, self-improvement, is made difficult. Improvement of any kind flies directly into the teeth of many people's fear of or distaste for change. Not knowing this, not expecting this, can make a person get discouraged in his attempts to change things in his life for the better.

Finally, here is the third and last major principle of quality: Quality Takes Time.

We get back to the ocean liner here. It doesn't turn on a dime. Neither does a life. When you start to improve an aspect of your life, it doesn't become perfect overnight. What it does do is start to turn. It starts to move more in the direction you want it to go. It starts to get better.

The above are very condensed, over-simplified explanations of some of the principles of quality. Even so, they contain the kernels of the truths a person needs to begin to make long-term, meaningful improvements in his or her life.

A Basic Grammar Glossary Might Be All You Need

Grammar is like most subjects: you can learn the basics in a few hours, and spend a lifetime exploring its depths. How deeply you dive into any subject depends on two things: does it interest you, and do you need it? Grammar does not interest most people, but everyone needs it, at least a little.

The reason everyone needs to know at least the basic words of grammar is that they form part of the culture we live in. This culture expects a certain basic level of knowledge in its members, and those who don't have it get left out or are made fun of. High school is supposed to provide at least that basic level of knowledge. That is exactly why a high school degree is often required for employment.

Part of that basic level of knowledge is the common words of grammar. Noun, verb, adjective, and adverb are the four big ones, but there are about a dozen more that fall into the class of minimum basic grammar. Pronoun. Preposition. Present, past, and future tense. Direct object. Clause. Phrase. Sentence. Infinitive. Conjunction. Other people would add many more to this list, but these are the basic words that everyone is "expected" to understand.

Two difficulties face anyone who wants to learn the basic words of grammar: What are the basic words, and What do they actually mean in simple language? Most websites about grammar do not distinguish the basic, necessary words from all the rest. Then they use complicated language.

Your best bet is to compile or obtain a basic glossary of grammar. You can use the list above, and start visiting websites until you come up with definitions and examples of each of those words. Look for websites that are for children, or for English as a Second Language (ESL), or that call themselves "easy" or "basic." It probably won't take you nearly as long as you might think.

Write down the words on the list above and try to define them in your own words. Make up a half dozen examples of each grammar word. If you have trouble explaining what a grammar word means, or cannot easily make up examples of it, find another website that will explain it better. When you are satisfied that you have done this correctly for all the words on the list, ask someone to check your definitions and examples.

The whole process might take you two hours or six or even a bit more. It doesn't matter. That is not a lot of time to spend on something so important. Spread it out over a few days if you want to. Just don't get discouraged. If a website confuses you, go to a different one.

Some day in the not too distant future, you will hear one of these words in conversation, or on the television, or will read it in a book, and you will be very glad you went to the effort to find or make your own basic glossary of grammar. Everything will start making a lot more sense.

A Basic Grammar Glossary Might Be All You Need

Grammar is like most subjects: you can learn the basics in a few hours, and spend a lifetime exploring its depths. How deeply you dive into any subject depends on two things: does it interest you, and do you need it? Grammar does not interest most people, but everyone needs it, at least a little.

The reason everyone needs to know at least the basic words of grammar is that they form part of the culture we live in. This culture expects a certain basic level of knowledge in its members, and those who don't have it get left out or are made fun of. High school is supposed to provide at least that basic level of knowledge. That is exactly why a high school degree is often required for employment.

Part of that basic level of knowledge is the common words of grammar. Noun, verb, adjective, and adverb are the four big ones, but there are about a dozen more that fall into the class of minimum basic grammar. Pronoun. Preposition. Present, past, and future tense. Direct object. Clause. Phrase. Sentence. Infinitive. Conjunction. Other people would add many more to this list, but these are the basic words that everyone is "expected" to understand.

Two difficulties face anyone who wants to learn the basic words of grammar: What are the basic words, and What do they actually mean in simple language? Most websites about grammar do not distinguish the basic, necessary words from all the rest. Then they use complicated language.

Your best bet is to compile or obtain a basic glossary of grammar. You can use the list above, and start visiting websites until you come up with definitions and examples of each of those words. Look for websites that are for children, or for English as a Second Language (ESL), or that call themselves "easy" or "basic." It probably won't take you nearly as long as you might think.

Write down the words on the list above and try to define them in your own words. Make up a half dozen examples of each grammar word. If you have trouble explaining what a grammar word means, or cannot easily make up examples of it, find another website that will explain it better. When you are satisfied that you have done this correctly for all the words on the list, ask someone to check your definitions and examples.

The whole process might take you two hours or six or even a bit more. It doesn't matter. That is not a lot of time to spend on something so important. Spread it out over a few days if you want to. Just don't get discouraged. If a website confuses you, go to a different one.

Some day in the not too distant future, you will hear one of these words in conversation, or on the television, or will read it in a book, and you will be very glad you went to the effort to find or make your own basic glossary of grammar. Everything will start making a lot more sense.

Yes, But Am I Happy?

By chance an old friend and I crossed paths as we were waiting for an elevator. We had always had lively discussions and both were between appointments so we struck up a conversation.

We updated each other on recent successes and failures--and since we'd both gone to the same University, touched briefly on the old alma mater.

After the pleasantries were past, we then entered into the 'important' things--the more serious things that mattered. He spoke of a friend that had gotten out of the 'rat race' for several years.

At that point, his old company offered his friend a 'big six-figure contract' to return and she accepted. We were both impressed with the salary he mentioned and joked about what kind of weekly paycheck she would get.

We were both envious. On a whim, perhaps a whim based somewhat on envy, I asked the simple question, 'yes, but is she happy?'

My friend became silent.

No, he finally answered. She was definitely not happy. Several years before she had left her job because it was not satisfying and because at 70 plus hours a week she had no personal life.

She had hoped at some point to remarry but was feeling like she was married to her job and no suitor could break up the family. The big salary did not make her happy.

If it were not for the money, she would quit and do what she really wanted to do. But she could not do that and remained miserable.

We ended our conversation slapping each other on the back and saying how lucky we were to be doing what we were interested in. We agreed to talk soon but we both knew our busy schedules would not make that possible any time soon.

Our conversation had lasted a half-hour; yet, this conversation is one that has replayed in my mind many times since then. Yes, but are we happy?

The analytical among us would press for a definition of happy. And probably that would make a good article. But somehow the question kept coming back and back.

If you look in the workplace you won't see too many happy people. You see owners that hate their industry, employees and customers.

And employees that show up for work only to get a paycheck as they whine and complain that nothing is ever good.

And managers that snap at employees as if they were unruly children. Why do people stay in positions they do not like? Why don't more people do what they want?

The question is an intriguing one. Most of my interest has been generated by the concept that the happy worker is a more productive worker.

Make the worker happy and you make production soar. On a simplistic level this is true.

But it goes beyond the simplistic. The question begs us to look deeper. This look is different for each of us so we cannot assume that what works for others will work for us.

There are no formulas or templates. And even if there were we should not trust them.

A friend many years back told me that we all want to live meaningful lives. Maybe a meaningful life is the key to happiness. Maybe not. That and having no regrets.

But what works for me may not work for you.

Many of us become obsessed with the pursuit of happiness. But this is one search you have to find for yourself. Since we spend much of our waking lives at work maybe you should ask this question at work?

Don't Stop Believing; the Law of Attraction is Still Working

Using the law of attraction is not about damage limitation; it's about creating your dream life! I talk to a lot of people who started out passionately learning how to use the law of attraction a couple of years ago, who are now just using it to tread water. It's natural for us that some of the enthusiasm wears off when something is no longer new and exiting, and as we loose the enthusiasm, we start falling into our old habits.

I hear people who were planning to live out their dream say things like "I'm doing ok, at least I'm not creating anything bad for myself." I personally can not think of a less exited or more bland way to look at your life. Ok, so you haven't lost anything, and life is pretty much what it used to be so everything is fine, right? Wrong! You didn't start out using the law of attraction to maintain what you had. You started out building your dream life and somewhere along the way you experienced either impatience, lack off faith or plain old fear of not succeeding so you kind of gave up and re-wrote your dreams to fit you level of enthusiasm.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad about where you are; I'm trying to get you to dig up your original dream and start creating on that again. If you are trying to tell me that things have changed and that you now realize that you don't really want that house or car or career that you first set your sights on, I don't believe you for a second. Stop lying to me, and most importantly; stop lying to yourself. The law of attraction operates on how you really think and feel, not on what you tell yourself to feel better about giving up or loosing faith.

Stop feeling bad about not having achieved it yet, and start using the law of attraction to create your dream again! You don't know how something is going to come about, that's not up to you. Your part of the job is to visualize yourself already having what you want and feeling good about knowing it's on its way. The rest is up to the universe.

My friend had a steady, well paying job but wanted something that gave her more challenges. Over the course of a couple of years she was considering leaving her job for more exiting but less secure ones but never acted because she was afraid of making a bad decision. I watched as she was more and more bored in her old job and heard her passionately talk about the life she could see herself having if she only took the jump and left her stabile job for a more exiting one. I tried to talk her into taking a leap of faith to realize her dream, but she was so caught in the paradigms of "safety over happiness" that she kept hesitating.

One day the universe acted for her. She called me up and told me she had just been let go from her stable well paying job; the company she worked for was closing down. As devastated as she was, she still acted fast and in five days she had a whole week of job interviews lined up. Here's the twist: she never even got to go to one job interview. Before the week was over she got a phone call from a company she had applied to yeas earlier but didn't get the job. She always referred to it as her dream job. The company told her they had heard rumors that she was back on the job market and wanted to snatch her up before someone else did. Not only did this girl get her dream job, it paid much more than her previous job.

Do you think my friend could see that the law of attraction was about to make her dream come true the day she was suddenly without a job? Of course not, but she was given a huge nudge from the universe and she acted on it.

Even though she was afraid to leave her secure job, my never lost faith that she could have the job of her dreams; she kept dreaming, she kept believing, and she was rewarded.

What are you so afraid of? Is failing really the end of the world? The way is see it, there is not such thing as failure if you really, really tried. The only thing stopping you from having what you want is you. Trust in your power to use the law of attraction, and welcome your dream. As long as you are doing your part right; as long as you are visualizing and feeling good about what is coming, you are on the right track.

The universe gives us nudges along the way too, and the law of attraction is always working. Keep your eyes open and you'll find the next step forward.

Overwhelmed by Starting a Business? Utilize Your Strengths

Making the shift from employee to entrepreneur can be a daunting task. The changes necessary to master entrepreneurial skill sets, habits, and paradigms can be overwhelming. "Do I have what it takes to become an entrepreneur?" you ask yourself for the tenth, twentieth, or even fiftieth time. Setbacks and frustrations come with the territory, and eventually many budding entrepreneurs believe that they have made a huge mistake and go back to the familiar, with their tails tucked between their legs and a massive failure hangover.

The good news is that you do not have to master everything. I know you don't believe it, so let me say it again: You don't have to master every attitude, skill set, technique, and body of knowledge to successfully start your own business. It is impossible for you to do so, being human. Cut yourself some slack. Those who have successfully made the transition will freely tell you that they are not fluent in all the necessary entrepreneurial skills. Even Bill Gates will tell you that!

More good news: Entrepreneurs are made, not born. If you are willing, you can acquire many of the attitudes and skills of an entrepreneur. If there is one quality that is paramount in your quest to start your own business, it is the willingness and desire to learn, change, and grow. If you are not interested in learning new things, changing yourself, and experiencing personal growth, you will find having your own business and making it prosper very difficult. Let's face it; you know the old paradigms aren't working, or else you wouldn't be interested in making such a radical change in your life.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of characteristics of successful entrepreneurs (Let me encourage you to read it dispassionately, without measuring yourself against each one right now):

* Self-motivating; able to take independent action

* A commitment to personal and business integrity

* A capacity for hard work with little to no feedback

* Problem-solving skills

* People skills - among them toleration, the ability to listen, encourage, and mediate

* Stubborn, persistent, able to tolerate frustration and failure

* Self-aware with the ability to modify your own behavior

* Reliability - a person who keeps commitments

* The ability to seize the moment and take risks

* Creativity - a "big-picture" thinker, innovative, visionary

* Strong capability to organize self, people, and resources

* Good self-esteem with positive self-talk

* Able to say "no" and set boundaries

* Adaptable

* Tolerance for ambivalence, uncertainty, and ambiguity

* A burning desire to achieve and succeed

* A wealthy, rather than middle-class, understanding of money

* An openness to ideas and inspiration from unfamiliar sources

* The ability to delegate and to ask for help

* Proficiency in communicating and getting your ideas across

* Able to learn from mistakes, criticism, and feedback

Here is an exercise that is very important in assessing your strengths and where you are right now. Take a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle, and label the right column "strengths." Label the left column "liabilities" as opposed to "weaknesses." Words are important! Now give yourself a block of quiet time without interruptions or distracting stimuli to take an inventory of your strengths and liabilities. Since we humans often have large blind spots about ourselves, it would be valuable to seek information from someone who knows you well and who will be supportive. Please note, that person being supportive is crucial! Don't ask critical, unsupportive people for feedback about your strengths and liabilities. This is akin to throwing your pearls before swine.

Don't look at the liabilities column right now. Also, don't be discouraged if the liabilities column is longer than the strengths column. You should have at least seven to ten strengths listed. If not, keep asking supportive people (or yourself) until you can come up with them. Once you have them, that is the time to look at the list above and see where your strengths dovetail with the entrepreneurial qualities listed.

I would lay a wager that if you took the necessary time, and were able to ask for help, you were amazed at the list of strengths you finally came up with. You were also astonished at how many of the qualities on the list you actually had. Here's where the fun part comes in. Take each of your strengths, and envision yourself in a business-related scenario using that strength successfully. Here are a couple of examples.

If you are a creative visionary, imagine yourself seeing the future of your business, and successfully planning to get it there. Don't be brief with this vision, but play it out. What obstacles do you see that others are oblivious to? What trends in the marketplace do you see that would provide a niche for your business, and how to you set yourself up to capitalize on this information? How do you capture your visions? Do you write them down? Dictate them? Draw them? Where are you when you do so?

If you are skilled at communicating and getting your ideas across, picture yourself communicating to a group of people your understanding of the benefits of your product or service. Do you write them down? Or do you make a PowerPoint and show it to them? You don't have to be physically present with them to communicate. How would you do so, if that were the case? Make sure you picture your success in the endeavor. If thoughts of failure or humiliation cross your mind, capture them quickly and get rid of them.

What about that list of liabilities? Glance through it briefly, then put it aside for the future. When you start focusing on and utilizing your strengths, you will gain self-confidence. As that confidence grows, and you start seeing success in your business, you can pull that list out to start working on one or two liabilities at a time.

The secret? Always operate from your strengths. As you learn, grow, prosper, succeed, and overcome challenges, you will see that list of liabilities grow smaller and smaller.